and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
