we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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