I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
