The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
