I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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