you traded sex for a burrito?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
