i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
