his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's never too late to be topless.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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