he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
