***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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