I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize