Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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