So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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