the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
