New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize