I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
