He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
