So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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