it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
