Dual....:-)
one two three fourrrrnication!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
