Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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