umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well you can't waste a boner
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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