So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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