bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
