Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
