from now on my penis is your penis
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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