New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
