she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
