I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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