I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
cat food counts as protein by the way
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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