so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
