I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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