I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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