Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize