Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Please don't give away my fajitas
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
