Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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