HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
