you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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