She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
