You're completely useless in the revolution.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
