I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
