I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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