Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
