we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
