That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
