i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
