Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
