What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am mentally ready for anal.
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