White coat. Heels.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
