Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
