Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
