i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!