I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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