this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
