Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
