I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
