we're blogging at a bar
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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