Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
