found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
