Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
