Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
