It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
